


Colors

by orphan_account



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Kind of inspired by a bunch of random tumblr post, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-08-31 13:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8580679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Everything is gray. His hair. His smoke. His dreams.Rafael didn’t want a soulmate.





	1. Everything is Gray

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing Barisi and im excited  
>   
> Edit: I was doing some late night editing while watching SVU and that turned out to be not a great idea, I mixed up the chapters and ch.1 temporarily got deleted but thanks to Kienie for pointing it out (thank you so much, I would have take forever to notice tbh) I fixed the problem. sorry about that. Ch.2 will (hopefully) be up by friday :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _One gets used to seeing in black and white. ___

One gets used to seeing in black and white. After so many years of not seeing color- not knowing what anyone was talking about when they said they thought his tie complemented his suit very well or when someone explains to him how one bouquet of flowers was more beautiful than another because _well just look at how pretty those colors are ___\- you have to be used to it.  
  
Rafael was more than used to it. He loved it. He was grateful he didn’t see in color.  
  
The way everyone described it makes it sound like such a hassle. There are so many colors, everywhere. And going off of what he had heard from Carmen, a color was either bright and headache inducing or dark and depressing. She may not have said that exactly but he knows how to read between the lines.  
  
And the final nail in the coffin for colors was that to see them you must meet your ‘soulmate’.  
  
Rafael didn’t want a soulmate. He was an Assistant District Attorney of New York. He didn’t have the time nor patience for love or even to entertain the notion of this fairytale ideal of being in love and ‘completed’ by finding your supposed other half.  
  
The thought that meeting a complete stranger, touching them, and as a result suddenly start seeing in color meant that you’re expected to spend the rest of your life with that person is ridiculous. Quite frankly it’s insulting. If fate thinks it can just boss Rafael Barba around then it clearly did not know who he was.  
  
So, that’s where he was. 45 years old without his fated match on a straight path to being the District Attorney of Manhattan.  
  
Exactly where he wanted to be.  
  
At least that’s where he thought he wanted to be.  
  
\---------------  
Olivia took the coffee being offered to her by Barba as he approached her walking out of her office, “Thanks,” she mumbled taking a sip of the coffee. Relishing in the warmth that washed over her, “It’s been a long day.” she explained when Barba raised his brow at her after she let out a particularly long groan of pleasure.  
  
“It’s fine. Just tell me if you and that coffee need some alone time,” Barba smirked, “I’d be more than happy to oblige.”  
  
“You’re funny.” Liv rolled her eyes.  
  
Barba looked down with a small smile, “If it is any consolation, I’m not having the best day either.”  
  
Olivia looked up at and let out a heavy sigh as if the memories of the past twenty-four hours hit her all over again. She still couldn’t believe just how quickly the case was falling apart. It should have been airtight and now their victims and witnesses were dropping like flies. On top of that the powers that be decided to screw her over just that little bit more by sending her what had to be the least sensitive and heavy-handed detective they had available.  
  
“Just wait till you meet our new guy.” Olivia smiled, noticing Barba’s surprised look, well it was more of a tick of his eyebrow but for Barba his jaw might as well as hit the floor.  
  
Barba eyed the Sergeant, “I didn’t know you put in a request for a new member for the squad,”  
  
Olivia snorted, “Well, don’t get attached to him.” She took another drink from her coffee, “I don’t think he’s going to last very long.”  
  
“He’s been here for less than a day, he can’t possibly be that incompetent.” Barba says,  
  
“He’s not incompetent,” Liv explains, “he’s just not SVU material.”  
  
“Ah, say no more.” Barba says, finishing their conversation as they approached the squad to discuss the case.  
  
As they got closer to the team Barba noticed an unfamiliar figure standing with Fin and Rollins. Before he had time to form an opinion on the man there was a hand being thrust in front of him -  
  
“Hi, Dominick Carisi Jr, at your service,” the new Detective gave him a wide grin, “But you can call me Sonny.”  
  
Barba looked this ‘Sonny’ up and down, ignoring the hand still hanging in front of him, taking in the mustache, cheap suit, and unusually bright smile.  
He wasn’t impressed.  
  
Carisi finally lowered his hand but didn’t let the obvious rejection deter him, “So, you’re the big bad lawyer that’s gonna save the day, huh.”  
  
“Is that what they call me when I’m not around?” Barba smiled, looking towards the other detectives, the Big Bad Lawyer, he could definitely work with that reputation. Especially with a squad so notorious for not exactly listening to their ADAs- or anyone for that matter, “While I am charmed to make your acquaintance, Detective Carisi,” he said, ignoring the Detective’s interruption- _Call me Sonny ___\- “We should probably get to discussing the case.”  
  
And if Carisi was happy before, he simply came alive once he heard Barba say that. Carisi jumped into explaining the case to him, in what could be considered an impressive amount of detail, and what could also be considered insulting with how he was pointing out the obvious in an almost condescending manner but Barba couldn’t find it in himself to be offended seeing as the Detective seems genuinely intent on making sure Barba had all the information. Even though the man himself couldn’t have been on the case for more than a couple of hours. He could, however, find it in himself to be vaguely annoyed by the over eager man who was currently waving his arms around, showing that this guy really was a walking Italian cliché. Loud mouth, thick accent, wild hand gestures and all.  
  
Well, it wasn’t SVU if it wasn’t interesting.  
\---------  
“Carisi, you’re with Rollins.”  
  
Sonny jumped out of his seat, grabbing his jacket and keys in a hurry.  
  
Rollins strolled past him at a much more leisure pace, “Calm down, vics not going anywhere.” She laughed before taking the keys out of his hands.  
  
Sonny deliberately slowed his actions; trying to give the illusion of being casual, “I know that,” he states, “I’m just eager for justice to be served.”  
  
“Alright, Captain America.” She snorted.  
  
Sonny realized that wasn’t his best excuse for his keenness but it wasn’t untrue. He really did want to put the bad guys away and time was of the essence. It always was as a police officer but now even more so that he worked with Special Victims. But, that wasn’t the entire reason he was so…enthusiastic to get out of his seat. The truth was he was just happy to be there. Which sounded kinda pathetic but it was true. Sonny didn’t have the best track record with staying in one unit for too long so he was very motivated to prove himself.  
  
He had only been there for a month and he was really liking it. Rollins and Fin where both cool. Amaro was a little stand-offish but he was a good guy too. And Sonny adored the Sergeant. She was such a badass.  
  
He also really liked the squad’s ADA.  
  
Like _really ___liked him.  
  
Which was honestly turning out to be more of a con than a pro.  
  
Rafael Barba was a sarcastic, brilliant, frustratingly attractive man that Sonny was having some problems reconciling his emotions with.  
  
The only reason Sonny has been able to hold off for so long without even going so far as to approach the man outside of professional reasons was because it had been made very clear that Barba doesn’t return his affections in the slightest.  
  
Quite the opposite actually.  
  
He throws little barbs at Sonny constantly. Not subtle, but not enough to cause any actual tension. He gives Sonny these intense looks that makes it look like he wanted to burn a hole right through Sonny’s head. And of course Sonny, with his mile wide penchant for heartbreak, was head over heels for the guy.  
  
He was funny and an amazing lawyer. Like, a really amazing lawyer. Seeing Barba cross-examine a defendant with ease and grace just did things to him. Things he was not proud of.  
  
Plus he was hot.  
  
He wore these five thousand dollar suits. And he pocket squares.  
  
Pocket Squares.  
  
How fucking classy was that?  
  
Sonny knew it was stupid falling for some guy who isn’t even your soulmate. What’s the point in being with someone when you’re destined for another? It doesn’t make sense on any level.  
  
That’s what Sonny’s brain says anyway.  
  
Then he actually sees Barba and his heart goes beats a little bit faster and his pants get a little bit tighter.  
  
But Sonny wasn’t gonna let this get in the way of his job. He was gonna stick it out.  
  
He’ll probably be over his little crush on Barba in less than a month.  
  
\-----------------------------------  
Fuck Carisi.  
  
But also _fuck ___Carisi.  
  
For the past two months Barba had been subjected to that walking human disaster- and he couldn’t stop thinking about him. It didn’t make any sense. Carisi was everything that Barba thought he was going to be. Tactless, loud, and had a habit of putting his two cents where it didn’t belong. But he was also so many things Barba didn’t expect. Sensitive, amusing, intelligent, and attractive.  
  
Really, who knew what the mustache was hiding.  
  
And it wasn’t like Barba could just ignore Carisi. It’s impossible to. He’s everywhere. Talking with his ridiculous Staten Island accent- that Barba’s mind was starting to refer to as adorable and that was not okay- and gesturing with his hands that may or may not have been the focus of many of Barba’s late night thoughts. Which was not the point.  
  
The point was Carisi distracted him. That Carisi was currently distracting.  
  
He was standing up in the middle of the squad room pointing at the picture of the perp, “I mean, I don’t know about you,” He started, “But it seems to me this guy is totally guilty.”  
  
“Yes, Carisi,” Barba sighed, “You are truly one of New York’s finest.” He looked down at the file they had given him before looking back at Carisi, “If only you had the evidence to back up that stunning assessment of the situation.” Barba continued to study the contents of the folder, not missing the eye role he solicited from the detective.  
  
Rollins got up from her seat, “We have more than enough evidence for a warrant,” she demanded.  
  
If these detectives knew so much, why didn’t they take the bar themselves?  
  
Barba knew SVU wasn’t really the department that took no for an answer, and he respected that but Christ it could be annoying constantly being told how to do his job. He knew as well as they did that the suspect was in fact guilty and would probably get away with this particularly heinous crime- seriously the man’s own daughter- if he didn’t, perhaps, bend the rules slightly. Barba also knew that if the judge assigned to this case felt he wasn’t going by the book he’d shut Barba down.  
  
Barba sighed, “I’ll get you your warrant,” his nobility outweighing his sense of preservation towards his job; he was immediately rewarded with Carisi grinning at him. And in terms of instant gratification, having Carisi smile at him was like heroine.  
  
He looked away from the man, pushing that particularly annoying thought out of his mind.  
_____  
So much for his crush going away in a month.  
  
Sonny glanced down at Barba, who was sitting at the table looking at the folder with his signature look. A mixture of condescension and disappointment.  
  
Barba was staring at the folder intensely enough that Sonny figured he could look at him without getting caught. And Sonny loved to do that, just watch Barba. Not in a creepy way. It was almost fascination. Watching Barba’s little ticks when he’s was concentrating or just observing. When he read something he didn’t like he’d have a small frown, almost a pout. When he was listening to a perp try and bullshit their way out of prison, Barba would get a look that was a cross between disbelief and disgust. When Lieu said something that amused him he’d give a little smirk. And if Sonny was really lucky he’d get to see Barba smile. That facial expression was rare and far between, at least in Sonny’s experience, but it was his favorite to see. Seeing Barba unguardedly smiling was, coming from a devout Catholic, a spiritual experience that Carisi wish he could capture a picture of, but he was not deluded enough to think he could get away with taking a picture of Barba and not raise any red flags.  
  
Sonny snapped out of his musings when he saw Barba begin to sit up, rising up from his seat. Barba seemed to be done with going over the case. It was awesome he was going to try and get a warrant when Sonny could admit that their case was circumstantial at best.  
  
Sonny, ever the people pleaser, decided to see Barba out, “Let me walk you to the elevator, Counselor.” He held a hand out in front of him, as if to guide Barba to the exit.  
  
Barba gave him a onceover, “I think I can find my way, Detective.” He looked at Sonny again for one intense second before continuing, “But, if you insist you can show me out.”  
  
“Right this way then.” Sonny grinned,  
  
They walked to the elevator in comfortable silence, the ADA had just pressed the ‘open’ button when Sonny decided it wouldn’t hurt to just ask the lawyer if he wanted to grab a drink, in the most platonic and non-sexual way possible.  
  
“Hey, Counselor,” He started, grabbing the smaller man by the wrist, “I was w-”  
  
Woah.  
  
Before Sonny could finish his sentence he was hit with a sudden wave a nausea, the room getting ten times brighter, and he blinked a few times before he looked at the person he just touched. Barba. Who was looking at him with his eyes that were just as wide as Sonny’s. His eyes. Which were an enchanting shade of a dark color that Sonny could identify but he already knew he loved.  
  
Holy shit, was Barba his-  
  
No way, that was impossible. They’ve known each other for two months. They’ve had to have shaken hands or had some form of psychical contact since then. There was no way that Barba was his-  
  
Holy shit, Barba was his soulmate.  
  
Sonny looked up just in time to see Barba shake himself out of his stupor and step into the elevator.  
  
“I’ve got to-” Barba said, pressing the ‘close’ button, “I’ve got to- I’ve gotta go- Goodbye Carisi.”  
  
With that the elevator doors closed, leaving a very shell-shocked Sonny staring at the doors. Still not sure what the fuck just happened.


	2. Everything is Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " _Colors, like features, follow the changes of the emotions. ___"

God, he can’t believe he ran. Like, literally high-tailed it out of the precinct as quickly and inconspicuously as he could. He reacted in what was possibly the most immature way to touching one’s soulmate for the first time. But, in his defense, how was someone supposed to react when they find out their annoying colleague/adorable crush of a few months was their soulmate. Barba still couldn’t believe he knew Carisi for a whole two months without knowing he was his ‘true love’.  
  
Seriously, you’d think he’d get some indication of that before today.  
  
Which he didn’t. Sure, he’s had some feelings that may have been directed at the detective but that was hardly indicative of Carisi being his destined lover.  
  
He had immediately regretted walking outside. Every things was so vibrant and in-your-face when it was in color. The sun seemed blindingly bright. The grass he saw while passing the park was a more calming and warm color. And he could easily pick out some of the bystanders who hadn’t found their soulmate yet because holy shit were their outfits an assault to the human eye.  
  
He was sincerely thankful that his tailor could see colors.  
  
Now, standing in his office after having some time to reflect, Barba could see the fault in his hasty retreat. Maybe a conversation with Carisi would have been the better way to handle the situation.  
  
Well, hindsight is 20/20.  
  
“Are you alright, Sir?” His assistant voice cut through his train of thought, “You’ve been pacing since you came into the office,” she glanced at her watch, “And that was forty-five minutes ago.”  
  
Barba abruptly stopped mid stride, “I’m fine,” He gave her a strained smile, “Thank you for your concern, Carmen, but it is unwarranted.” he said as he took a seat behind his desk.  
  
Barba watched as she closed the door behind her and then sunk into when he heard the click of the door shutting all the way. Fate really had a sense of humor. Letting him live his entire life without interference and just when he was at the peak of his career it threw a cop that was a decade his junior at him.  
  
Honestly, how would a conversation with Carisi even go at this point?  
  
“Sorry for running away, it was a reflex.”  
  
‘I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to work out.’  
  
‘It’s not you; it’s me’  
  
“Fate kind of fucked us here’  
  
There wasn’t a nice way to put it. He really had no idea how Carisi would react. He had no idea if Carisi even wanted to pursue a relationship.  
  
What if it’s Carisi that rejects him?  
  
Yeah, nope. Not going to happen. He was going to walk over to the 16th and clearly get across the message that he wasn’t really into all this soulmate business.  
  
Even if he was into it. Hypothetically. It would be difficult to maintain a workplace relationship given their line of work, there would probably be some conflict of interest if they started dating that could potentially jeopardize any of the future cases they work together. But, if they disclosed their relationship any complaints would be a non-issue. But then again, Barba was an ADA and worked very long hours so it would be difficult to be in any relationship with anyone, period. Granted, Carisi is a detective and if anyone were to understand his long work days it would be him. And even when Barba was working they do see each other quite often during the day.  
  
There wasn’t really a reason to not date Carisi.  
  
Hypothetically, of course.  
  
Because, un-hypothetically, he can’t date Carisi. It wouldn’t make sense.  
  
Sure, he’s been the center of most of Barba’s thoughts lately but that didn’t mean that Barba was going to fall in love with the detective. All it meant was that Barba hadn’t gotten laid in a little too long and Carisi was a very conveniently placed outlet to all his pent up thoughts.  
  
Sure, when he looked at Carisi he got a pang in his chest, right where his heart was. Barba would look at Carisi and something would just fit. It would make sense that Carisi was there, with the Special Victims Unit, with Barba. And Barba couldn’t figure out why it fit so well, but it did, like a puzzle finally coming together.  
  
It almost felt unavoidable. When they spoke, Barba couldn’t help but let the conversations linger, let himself steal a glance at Carisi. He couldn’t help but get excited when he saw the detective, he couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride when the detective offered legal insight that most ADA’s could only wish the detectives they worked with possessed. He couldn’t help but look forward to their little interactions.  
  
It almost felt like fate.  
  
Shit, he needed to call Liv.  
  
\------------------------  
“Hey, Carisi,” Fin called from his desk, “Why do you look like someone kicked your puppy?”  
  
“He looks more like a kicked puppy himself, than the owner of one,” Amanda cut in, “What happened, Carisi?” She asked, picking up where Fin left off.  
  
Sonny groaned, dropping his head onto his desk, “I don’t want to talk about it.” He realized he may be acting like an angsty teen but he figured, given the circumstances, he deserved a pass.  
  
“Alright, how bout’ drinks then?” Rollins said, “Get your mind off of whatever it’s on right now.”  
  
Carisi lifted his head from the desk, “I’d love that, Rollins.” He really could use a drink. Or ten.  
  
“Awesome,” Rollins said, “You coming too, Fin?” She asked, putting on her coat.  
  
Fin waved her off, “I’m having dinner with Ken and Alejandro tonight.” He explained, “Have fun,” he paused, “Not too much fun, though,” he snickered.  
  
“Ha ha,” Amanda deadpanned, “Come on, Carisi, let’s get hammered.” She clapped him on the shoulder.  
  
…….  
“He doesn’t like me.”  
  
“What the hell are you talking about, Carisi?” Amanda questioned, amused by how drunk Sonny was getting in such a short amount of time.  
  
“You wouldn’t understand,” He huffed, taking another swig of his beer.  
  
“Try me,” She said, leaning up against the table, kind of tipsy but not as much as so as Sonny.  
  
That may be because of the fact that she, unlike himself, didn’t enter the bar and order five shots of Tequila and slam them all down in the span of five minutes.  
  
He didn’t even like Tequila. It just seemed like the thing to do after the train wreck of a day he had.  
  
Sonny abruptly straightened up, “I’m a catch.” He said, before drinking the rest of his beer.  
  
Rollins stared at him intensely for a moment, “Sure you are,” she said, bemused but appeasing, “How about we get another round of beers,” she said, seeing that he needed it.  
  
\-----------------------------  
“And you just left?” Olivia asked, incredulously.  
  
“Yes, alright, we can judge my amazingly bad reaction to meeting my soulmate after we talk about the fact that my soulmate is Carisi.” Barba said touchily.  
  
Olivia looked like she was almost enjoying his little meltdown, “Why are you so shocked he’s your ‘one’?”  
  
Barba threw his arms into the air, “Why aren’t you shocked that he’s my ‘one’?” he exclaimed.  
  
The sergeant rolled her eyes, “Please, I’ve been a detective for a very long time,” she took a sip from her glass of wine, “And you aren’t exactly subtle.”  
  
Barba shot her a look of pure annoyance, “How could you have possibly known I had feelings for Carisi,” he questioned, “I didn’t even know I had these feelings until a very enlightening moment about an hour ago.”  
  
She shrugged, “You two, both of you, you look at each other a lot,”  
  
“I look at a lot of people.”  
  
“I wasn’t finished,” Olivia defended, “Carisi looks at you like you hung the moon half of the time.” She stated, “And you look at him like he answered all of your questions and then raised about a hundred different ones.”  
  
He had no idea that she was such a romantic, “I don’t appreciate being viewed as the starry-eyed lover, Liv.”  
  
“I’ll try to remember that,” Olivia said, “When are you going to stop deflecting and actually start talking about what you’re thinking about Carisi right now?”  
  
“You don’t want to know what I’m thinking about Carisi.”  
  
“Barba,” Olivia said, exasperated, “You’re going to have to talk to him eventually.”  
  
“I know,” Barba sighed, “I’m going to talk to him.”  
  
Olivia didn’t look convinced. Barba wasn’t even convinced he was going to do it.  
  
He realized he couldn’t avoid it. They worked together and having two soulmates who never spoke would cause a somewhat strained work environment.  
  
“I’ll talk with him tomorrow,” Barba decided, “I’m going to text him right now,” he figured if he didn’t do it right there he’d lose his nerve.  
  
“Good, I think you two will be good together,” Olivia mused, laughing when Barba glared at her.  
  
Barba took a very long drink of his scotch before taking his phone out and sending a text to the detective.  
  
Well, he had until tomorrow to sort out his feelings and get together what he was going to say to Carisi.  
  
___________________________  
  
“Is this about your soulmate?” Rollins guessed, “Because, you’re still young, you’ll find them eventually.” She reassured.  
  
Sonny laughed bitterly, “It’s not finding him I need to worry about.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Rollins probed, “You found em’?” She asked surprised.  
  
Sonny looked down, “I’ve said too much already,” he states, somewhat dramatically, still staring at his drink.  
  
Rollins was staring at Sonny in disbelief, “Wait, you found your soulmate and he doesn’t want you?” she pieced together. The night’s conversation finally making sense, “Who is it? Do you know them? Do I know them?” she asked, not really giving Sonny room to answer any of her questions.  
  
“I don’t know if I can tell you.”  
  
“Who is this guy, James Bond?”  
  
Sonny rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile, “I just don’t know if he wants people to know that we’re soulmates.” Sonny was sure that Barba wasn't exactly ready to pronounce their bond to the world.  
  
“So, what? You both suddenly saw in color and just didn’t talk about it.” Rollins said.  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
Sonny had really wanted to talk about it. Ever since he had shaken himself out of his stupor and walked away from the elevator he had been talking himself in and out of calling Barba. He had almost ended up walking over to the ADA’s office in person. He had made it a block before Sonny realized that maybe it wasn’t the best idea. Barba was probably still processing everything.  
  
Sonny had spent the rest of the day trying to forget everything that happened. But it was very hard to do when he had the constant reminder of what transpired in the form of his vision. Not that it wasn’t super cool to be seeing colors. Sonny had spent a sold ten minutes just staring at the vending machine, looking at all the different colors in snacks. It was weird how all the colors just fit into place. Everything made sense. Everything looked like it was in its natural state being seen in color even though he’s spent his entire life seeing it in black and white.  
  
The novelty of seeing in color was almost enough to distract from the fact that when his soulmate split as soon as they touched. Sonny was used to people not reacting to him amazingly. He wasn’t the greatest at first impressions but it still stung.  
  
He tried to rationalize it. Barba was shocked obviously. Sonny knew that Barba was a good guy. He wouldn’t have just up and left like he did earlier if he wasn’t completely caught off guard.  
  
And it wasn’t like Sonny was expecting this. He had a crush the size of Staten Island on Barba but he didn’t imagine he was his soulmate. They were polar opposites. Barba was the kind of guy who enjoyed the finer things in life. Sonny was the kind of guy who’d consider getting a cannoli and beer in one night a win.  
  
Speaking of which he could really go for a cannoli right now. He wondered what those looked like in color.  
  
His contemplation was interrupted by his phone buzzing. He grabbed his phone, drinking from his beer as he glanced at the message, which turned out to be a bad idea because when he saw who texted him, he proceeded to inhale the beer that was left in his mouth. Rollins looked at him like he was crazy when he fell into a coughing fit.  
  
“Are you alright?” she asked, pounding on his back.  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” he waved her off, “Wrong pipe.” He said rubbing his throat as explanation.  
  
Rollins looked suspicious but was currently on the wrong side of sober so she accepted the weak excuse.  
  
Sonny went back to his phone to read the text.  
  
‘ _We need to talk. Tomorrow, noon lunch at Russ &Daughters ___’  
  
Sonny read and re-read the text a few times before replying.  
  
‘ _Ok ___’

**Author's Note:**

> I read a fan-fic based on this and I wanted more so I made it.


End file.
